The young seedling doesn't have to think about growing, it just grows. The same goes for humans. From conception we start to grow, and change. We aren't given a road map or written program to follow. We simply learn by trying, and most often, by failing.

At what point is it that we eventually disregard change for safety, exchanging growth for stagnation, and potential for cheap temporal complacency. We get uncomfortable and stop trying or simply run rather than letting ourselves be uncomfortable while we try to learn what is meant for us to learn.
Being comfortable all the time makes you weak, and then when something truly challenging or difficult comes along it breaks you, destroying all your hope and splintering your determination.
Right now I'm at a dark place, full of shadows, unknown outcomes, and potential land mines. It is a dark place known as love.
I think love is definitely one of those things that requires constant adaptation, communication, and patience. It stretches your limits and shines light on all your embarrassing weaknesses.
Still, I am here, determined to love, determined to push through the hostile seasons and learn more about what it means to care for another human being. I won't always do things right, I'll fumble, be a dork, look stupid, feel ashamed, get impatient, but above all else I will not let myself abandon her for a false comfort. Instead, I will be torn, and stretched and adjusted by the expansion of my spirit as I learn to be vulnerable.
Whatever it is you wish, whether it's to love someone, climb a mountain, or do 5 jumping jacks a day, you can accomplish it, as long as you put more value on pain than you do your comfort. It's just pain, and most of the time, it's simply helping us grow.

Afterthought: We should never stay in abusive situations, that's not what this blog is about. Constantly accepting abuse falls more in to the "Stagnation" category then it does the "Growth" category. It's important that you understand this. Sometimes the greatest courage is required simply to take care of ourselves. Don't let fear stop you from trying new things, changing your life, or creating a new way of thinking...



For more information on John Vardell please visit http://www.johnvardell.com/ or http://www.thesecondwomb.com/ for more information. John's new book, "The Absence of Illusion," is now available at http://shop.thesecondwomb.com/main.sc
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